“Santa, thanks so much for taking my call.”
“Who is this?”
“Robin. Robin Newman. Remember me? The children’s book author.”
“What time is it?” asked Santa.
“It’s 7:00 a.m., New York City time. What time is it on the North Pole?”
“Early! Can you call back another time? I need my beauty sleep,” said Santa.
“Of course! But don’t you want to hear that I’ve been a good girl this year? All right, ‘good’ may not be 100% accurate . . . perhaps ‘well intentioned’ is a better choice of words. And ‘girl’ maybe a tad bit of a stretch. How about pre-octogenarian?”
“Robin, since you’re not going to let me sleep, have you been writing every day?”
“Writing every day? That’s a good question. A very good question. You know the beard really looks good on you. Not a lot of people can get away with the beard, red suit, and boots, but on you it looks great.”
“Are you going to answer my question?”
“Oh, right! I mean write. I try to write most days. Sometimes I get stuck on rewrites. Rewrites are really not my thing.”
“What would you like for Christmas?”
“Thanks so much for asking. I would like to sell ALL of my manuscripts.”
“That’s a lot of manuscripts,” said Santa.
“Some of my manuscripts? Three manuscripts? One’s as low as I’m going.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” said Santa, “I get a lot of requests from writers this time of year. You may have to wait a bit.”
“I’d also like all of my writer and illustrator friends to find agents and get book deals as well. And while I’m at it, can you end starvation, poverty, and disease? I’d also like to make a pitch for world peace.”
“Will try my best. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and best of luck to you and your friends with the writing, rewriting, and illustrating. Now, I’m going back to bed.”
“Thanks Santa. Good night! You’re the best. Oh! Do you ever talk to the Tooth Fairy? She didn’t leave me anything for my last tooth. It was a good tooth. All right, maybe not in the best of shape, but in reasonably good shape. Santa? Santa? Are you there? Did you just hang up on me? Seems like we got disconnected. I’ll call you back.”
“This is a recorded message. Please leave your name and number and an elf will return your call in the order it was received. Thank you for calling the North Pole. Happy Holidays!”
robinnewmanbooks.wordpress.com 
Dear Robin, Your post made me laugh. Thanks so much and want to wish you and your family a wonderful Holiday with plenty of writing. Also, I do hope Santa listened for next year. I think he did 🙂
Annina, Happy holidays to your and yours, as well. I hope all your dreams come true. All the very best in 2015. 🙂
Boy, Santa can be so cranky sometimes! 😉 I hope all your wishes come true…wouldn’t that be super? Hope you’ll have a great holiday season with your family!
Thanks, Teresa! I hope all of your dreams and wishes come true. Happy, happy holidays! Good things to come in 2015. 🙂
“I’ll see what I can do,” said Santa, “I get a lot of requests from writers this time of year.
Ha ha! I’ll be sure and get to Santa earlier next year! Merry Christmas Robin!
I think I’m on his waitlist! 🙂 Merry Christmas, Cathy! All the very best in 2015.
Robin, loved it! Thanks for putting in a good word for the rest of us. Merry Christmas to you and your family and much success in the new year!!
Thanks, Lauri! Hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday. Good things to come in 2015! 🙂
Nice talk with Santa, Robin!!! You have quite the list…and you’re so nice to include your writer friends.
Merry Christmas:•)
Thanks, Penny! I try to be comprehensive when it comes to my friends and publishing contracts. The more merrier! 🙂 Hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a superb new year! Good things are coming in 2015!
Hilarious, Robin! I never even thought to ask Santa!
Tina, I overheard Santa say you were already on his nice list. 🙂 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
What a great conversation, haha! I hope Santa brings you everything on your list 🙂
Thanks, Letizia! Hope you have a wonderful holiday. All the very best in 2015. 🙂
Thanks, you too! Looking forward to reading more of your blog in the new year 🙂
You’re so sweet! 🙂 Thanks, Letizia!
Man, Santa’s grumpy when you wake him up. 🙂 Hope he makes your (and everyone’s) wish list come true!
Thanks, Marlaina! I hope all of your writing wishes come true. Happy holidays and all the very best in 2015! 🙂
I do believe in Santa, I do, I do!
Julie, Fingers and toes crossed your wishes come true. Happy, happy holidays! Good things to come in 2015. 🙂
Ha! That’s a BIG Christmas wish. Thanks for throwing in your writer friends as well. Why not share the gifts!!? C’mon Santa, step it up, buddy.
Santa needs to step up his game for writers/illustrators. Here! Here! I Genevieve and Cupcake, I hope all of your wishes come true. Good things to come in 2015! 🙂
Funny!
Sent from my iPhone
Merci, Francoise! Joyeux Noel et bonne année! Grosse bise! xoxox
Reblogged this on Perth Words… exploring possibilities. and commented:
A bit for seasonal fun – I like it!
You have put a smile on my face. Lot’s of fun.
Thanks, Pat! Hope you have a wonderful holiday. Wishing you all the very best in 2015! 🙂
Thank you. I hope you have a great holiday.
Thanks, Pat! 🙂
Love it!
Yippee! 🙂 Thanks, AJ! Happy, happy holidays and all the very best in 2015!
Thank you!
Santa’s a terrible agent.
Mike, I know. It’s a real shame. You’d think with his connections and influence that he’d be a better agent. Maybe I should try the Tooth Fairy. Although she still owes me for my last tooth. 🙂 Hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday. Good things to come in 2015!
Have a wonderful holiday, too, my friend.
Don’t forget to send out a query to Easter Bunny!
Thanks! Great idea! I hope the Easter Bunny will take my calls. 🙂
Fab! Thanks for including us all. May all your manuscripts take flight. Merry Christmas!
Thanks, Catherine! I hope all your writing wishes come true. Merry Christmas and all the very best in 2015! 🙂
Love this letter Robin! Thanks for letting Santa know what is on all our wish lists!
Thanks, Darlene! Hope all your writing wishes come true. Good things to come in 2015! Looking forward to ALA.